herongale: (daisuke- zomg!)
herongale ([personal profile] herongale) wrote2010-03-21 01:59 am
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Year 2000 flashback! Reposting of "Total Request Live," just for y'all

Here's a Digimon "story" I wrote... a long, long time ago. It's an interesting relic in a lot of ways: it's a scriptfic, which was posted to ff.net before these were banned. I was such a huge dork back then. I pretty much totally love this story, and even if I didn't still love Digimon, I'd love it because it is a time capsule look-back for ten years ago, complete with all sorts of dated cultural references (remember when MTV used to actually play music?) and punkass insights, from back when I was a medical student living on my own in downtown Detroit... around the time I was getting to know [livejournal.com profile] anax.

The premise of the story is that the Digidestined were invited onto Carson Daly's TRL show on MTV. I was such a huge dork back then, but I kind of love this story specifically because even though it's soooo bad: it's bad in a such a hopefully hilarious way.

I doubt I'll ever formally re-publish this anywhere, but here it is for you, my dear flist. (feel free to shoot me later).

+ total request live +

We are in Times Square, at the New York set for "Total Request Live," with Carson Daly. Today's guests are the Digimon 02 group, taking a break from their Hero-ing to watch some videos.

A large crown is gathered outside, some carrying posters, most with hair in colors not made by nature. A shot scanning the crown reveals some of the opinions of the teens gathered there. "Stop the Violence! Censor Cody!" "Miyako, I love you!" "T.K. Knocks Me Out!" "Veni Vidi Vici. Heil, Kaiser!" "Davis, Shut Up!"

Carson looks down over the crowd, and we get a close up of him chuckling.

Carson: *heh*

He then turn to the crowd gathered in the studio, who are even MORE obsessed fans.

Carson: Welcome to today's countdown of your favourite videos. These are videos that YOU, the studio audience, have decided are the best of 2000. As a special treat, we have the Digidestined, who have flown here all the way from Japan to help count 'em down. And....here they are now!

The audience cheers wildly. Two girls in the front get into fisticuffs over whether it's "Davis!," or "Daisuke!," and have to be escorted out.

In walks the whole group. TK is dressed like someone out of N-Sync, and Davis is wearing sunglasses. Yolei is wearing a replica of the outfit that Britney Spear's made popular in "Oops...I Did it Again," a red vinyl jumpsuit and space-cadet hairstyle. Kari is wearing a yellow tee that says "hikari," with a picture of a panda on it. Cody is wearing a silver shirt, baggy pants, and a long chain attached to his pants. Ken trails after them, wearing his normal grey school uniform, like always.

Carson: Welcome to TRL. I hope that your flight was alright? (everyone nods). Good! Let's get down to business.

Kari: Okay.

Cody: Yo.

Carson: First up, the number ten video of 2000: "Beautiful Day," by U2!

A clip is played. Bono and the band wander around an airport.

TK (flatly): That's it?

Cody (concurring): BOR-ing!

Davis: I like the part where the planes take off right over them! But yeah, otherwise it sucks.

Kari and Yolei nod.

Yolei: I like the song. I don't get the video.

Ken (disdainfully): Idiots.

Carson: Hmm, interesting. At number nine, we've got "Who Let the Dogs Out," by the Baha Men.

Most of the audience sings along, as we watch the clip, which has Jamaican men running around.

Davis: Yeah! They play this song at soccer games! I think it's cool!

Ken: It's pure tripe. You *would* like it.

Davis: Hey!

Ken and Davis glare at each other. TK was standing up, dancing, and he had pulled a reluctant Kari into a standing position. Kari was kind of moving her head back and forth with the rhythm.

Cody: That's just representin'

Yolei: ????

Carson looks scared. The studio audience is loving every second of this "intimate look" at the Digidestined, and several girls have fainted. EMS has been called.

Carson: Okay...calm down, everyone! Please give it up for Samantha Mumbo, er, Mumba. In "Gotta Tell You."

Samantha walks around some city in California, doing the Loony Toons trick of always catching some fortuitous passing crane or jumping impossibly high walls.

Yolei: I'm sensing a theme here.

Ken: Indeed.

Kari: Right! don't these people have anything better to do? Where's the plot? Where's the drama!? She catches a plane? Ooh, I'm hooked. *sarcasm*

Cody: Shut yo mouth.

TK looks down at Cody, and frowns.

TK: You liked it?

Cody shrugs.

Cody: It has a quiet charm.

Carson: Well, then. The great Samantha! Next video. Number seven: "Music," by Madonna!

Madonna drives around a city in a limousine with some of her girlfriends. She stops at a strip club and pours some money into a girl's panties. This video has a very 70s feel, down to the cheesy flashing graphics and the stylized animation sequence.

Yolei grabs Cody and covers his eyes, but she seems to be watching the whole thing with shining eyes. Cody struggles against this, shouting....*bad* things...but Yolei ignores him. TK leans forward, and Davis is frankly leering. Kari and Ken look away, disgusted.

Yolei: She's really pretty! I want to be like her when I grow up!

Ken: You know this means that you want to grow up to be a slut, right?

Yolei (wounded): It's a valid lifestyle choice!

She releases Cody to put her hands on her hip, and frown at Ken.

Cody: Get ready for some serious smackdown, Yolei!

He runs at her, but she just puts out her arm to press against his forehead, and his blows fall humourously short. Meanwhile, Kari is pounding on TK.

Kari: You...jerk...I'll never...forgive you!

TK kisses her.

Kari (breathlessly): On the other hand....

Davis' eyes water. Ken pats his shoulder.

Ken: There, there.

Carson: Too much information! Next, it's that Latino wonder, Ricky Martin, with "She Bangs!" Number 6!

Ricky dances around a club, and underwater, and he pretends to ogle at the scantily clad girls that were hired to suggest that he's not gay.

Kari and Yolei, together: Yum!

Ken nods in agreement. Everyone stares at him.

Ken (generalized glare): I still have that whip if anyone wants to make any infantile comments.

Cody (changing the subject, recites a lyric): "I go crazy 'cause she looks like a flower/ but she stings like a bee/ like every girl in history" The hell?

TK: I think it's a play on Muhammad Ali's famous comment, "I dance like a butterfly but sting like a bee."

Everyone stares at TK.

TK: Hey! Ken's not the only one who is a smartie around here!

Kari (sighing): He's smart, *and* he's sane. Thank god!

Davis: Thanks!

Ken pulls Davis aside and whispers something to him. Davis blushes.

Davis: Oh. You meant TK.

Cody bangs his hand on a nearby prop.

Cody: That still doesn't explain the lyric! Come on!

Carson is sweating profusely. The audience seems to love the drama.

Carson (desperately): Number five! Eminem!

"The Real Slim Shady" plays. It's funny, and clever. Everyone agrees that they like it. Carson is surprised.

Carson: That's it? No tangential commentary?

He collects himself.

Carson: Um, that's good! Next up: Sexy Sisqo's at Number 4, with "The Thong Song."

Yolei nods sagely.

Yolei: I can predict the rest. Britney, then BSB, then N-Sync. But which songs, which songs? The suspense!

Davis: Yolei, *you* think I'm smart, don't you? And sane?

Yolei (looks to the side): Err.

Davis looks despairingly out into the audience.

Davis: How about you?

Dead silence. And then, a large number of girls start shouting how cute they think he is. Davis is placated.

Cody (to Ken): Shouldn't you be flirting with Davis about now? Isn't that "your thing?"

Ken: Don't forget "complete subjugation of the Digital World." That's up there, too.

Cody: Oh yeeh. So what are you going to do about that anyway?

Ken pulls out a purple Macintosh note book, and sits down next to Cody.

Ken: You see, it goes like this...

Carson interrupts.

Carson: I guess it's no surprise that Britney Spears has landed at the number 3 spot! Thanks, Yolei! And here's "Oops..."

Yolei knows all the dance moves by heart, and grooves along. The audience gives her a standing ovation.

Carson: Very good, very good! And now, at number two: It's the Backstreet Boys!!

The audience screams. Kari scratches her head.

Kari: Who're they?

Davis looks at her, dumbfounded.

Davis: Didn't you see the Around the World special? They stopped in Japan. And you call me stupid!

Ken looks over at Davis approvingly.

Ken: So does this mean that you have given up your pathetic crush?

Davis: Umm...I guess.

Ken (purring): Excellent.

Ken pulls out his Digital Kaiser cape and sunglasses out of his bookbag, and with a swipe of gel, his whole appearance changes.

Yolei: Now there's a Ken that I can get behind!

Ken blows her a kiss, and then licks his lips as he looks at Davis.

Ken: Let the seduction begin!

BSB's video, "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely," is playing, but the 145 girls and 67 boys in the audience are ignoring it in favour of Ken's little performance.

Carson watches helplessly as everything devolves into madness around him.

Carson (shouting over the crowd): Number one! N-Sync! "Bye Bye Bye." And with that, I'm outta here!

Yolei watches him leave, perplexed.

Yolei: What's his damage?

The video begins to play. The five boys of N-Sync are being manipulated by a dark-haired vixen who chases them in all sorts of cinematic scenes.

TK is kissing Kari some more. Ken has Davis backed into a corner, and he looks scared. Yolei keeps turning around and around, not knowing which sexy scene that she'd rather look at.

Cody had taken up Carson's mike.

Cody: Hmm. I guess that's it. We're really not this scattered when we are trying to save the Digital world.

Davis, Ken, Yolei, TK, and Kari all shout together: Liar!

Cody glares at them all, and then breaks into a Gershwin standard, "Nice Work if You Can Get It."

Everyone swoons. Cody is such a playa.

++

meanwhile, back in Odaiba...


*TRL Taped*

Back in Japan, the six older Digidestined had gathered at Tai's apartment to watch the episode of TRL that their younger friends had participated in. With popcorn and Cola in hand, Matt, Joe, Sora, and Izzy were sitting on the couches. Mimi was visiting from New York, and she was sprawled on the floor.

Tai grinned at everyone, and the put in the tape.

Sora: This should be good!

They watch as Carson introduces their friends. Matt groans when TK walks out, and Tai sighs to see that Kari is wearing a shirt with her name on it.

Tai: Is that cute, or is that ego?

Mimi twists around to stare at Tai, curiously.

Mimi: Huh? What's wrong with her outfit?

Tai shakes his head. Meanwhile, Sora is watching the screen critically as the rest walk out. Her eyes widen as she sees Cody and Yolei in their...flamboyant...outfits.

Sora: No, I'd say *that's* ego.

Izzy, meanwhile, is fixated on Ken's laptop. Joe notices, and then nudges him slyly.

Joe: A boy after your own heart, ne?

Izzy (absently): Can you even guess the processing speed on that baby?

Matt is assuring everyone that Carson is as nice in person as he is on TV. Matt had done several guest spots himself, for various videos from his band. Everyone buckles down when the videos begin.

10. "Beautiful Day," U2. They watch as everyone disses the video.

Matt (through gritted teeth): TK and I will have words.

Joe: You liked the video, then?

Matt: it has a quiet charm!

9. "Don't Let the Dogs Out," The Baha Men.

Izzy: What's up with all this yaksuka stuff from Cody?

Mimi: Technically, it's "gangsta." Raw, "from the hood" dialogue used to suggest menace and to seem cool.

Sora gets down next to Mimi and feels her forehead.

Sora: Are you alright?

In the meanwhile, Tai is laughing as Ken insults Davis.

Tai: Good one!

Matt is merely groaning as he watches TK dance.

Matt: why me?

8. "Gotta Tell You," Samantha Mumba

Joe: She's quite pretty, isn't she?

Mimi narrows her eyes.

Mimi: But not as pretty...or as *fashionable*...as ME, RIGHT?!

Joe smiles. He holds up his hand, making a little dismissive wave.

Joe: Oh, you're gorgeous. No contest, you win.

Mimi is placated. Sora and Izzy giggle. Tai grabs Joe and starts tickling him.

Tai: This is a no flirting zone! Desist immediately!

7. "Music," by Madonna

Sora (bemused): so Yolei wants to grow up to be a slut?

Izzy (also bemused): That's....interesting.

Sora and Izzy go into the corner for a whispered consultation. A game of Rock, Paper, Scissors is played. The two return to the group, Izzy looking triumphant, Sora resigned.

Izzy (triumphant): I get first dibs on asking Yolei out!

Joe (slyly): I'd guess you'd say that's...prodigious of you.

While all this is going on, Tai and Matt are watching stone faced as Kari and TK kiss.

Tai: Do you see what *your brother* did to MY sister? He grabbed her!

Matt (haughtily): Well, at least he's not grabbing *her* in any inappropriate places.

Tai looks closely, and then blushes.

Tai:...

6. "She Bangs," Ricky Martin

Mimi: I like that guy!

They watch as Yolei, Kari...and Ken...express similar approval. They listen to Ken's whip comment. Everyone is shocked for a second, and then:

Matt: I like THAT guy!


5. "The Real Slim Shady," Eminem

Everyone likes it. Izzy displays an unusual level of real-world knowledge by singing along with Eminem, with all the right inflections and everything. Everyone stares at him in shock.

Izzy: Hey! Where do you think Cody gets it from, anyway?

4. "The Thong Song," Sisqo

Sora (listening as the whole audience basically disses Davis' intelligence): The poor boy just gets it coming and going, doesn't he?

Mimi (sagely): If they think he's cute, it's all that matters.

Joe: That's for sure!

Mimi grabs Joe's hand and squeezes it. He sneezes uncontrollably for a while.

3. "Oops, I Did it Again," Britney Spears.

Mimi gets up and does all of the moves to the song. When she sees that Yolei is doing the same thing on the video, she laughs.

2. "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely," BSB

Sora(dumbfounded): Kari doesn't know who the Backstreet Boys are?

In the meanwhile, Ken has pulled out his Kaiser get up and has started stalking Davis across the stage. Tai and Matt are transfixed.

Matt (with a sidelong glance to Tai): Can I get a copy of this tape?

Tai (looking back): Better. you can get a reenactment.

Joe is still sneezing.

1. "Bye Bye Bye," N-Sync

Everyone watches contentedly as the whole thing winds down. Cody sings at the end, to everyone's surprise.

Sora: He's such a cutie!

Mimi: He should have a fanclub!

Joe: *katchoo*

Matt: I should ask him if he wants to sing backup....

Tai: He certainly is talented, isn't he.

In the meanwhile, Izzy has pulled out a videotape of his own from his knapsack.

Izzy: Can I tempt anyone for a viewing of "The Matrix?"

Everyone agrees, and snuggles down for the movie.

THE END

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